He showed up outside her house. Emailed her father. Threatened suicide.

And the drama was no movie, but the real-life stalking nightmare actress Uma Thurman, recently lived through. Since 2005, Jack Jordan, 37, of Massachusetts, an unemployed pool cleaner has stalked the star of Kill Bill (DIS) and My Super Ex-Girlfriend (NWS). After various incidents of strange and unwanted behavior, Jordan was charged with misdemeanor stalking and harassment. Now, Thurman, 38, is involved in a court preceding that could result in his spending up to a year in jail.

The trial began the week of April 28, and Thurman and her parents, Robert and Nena, have testified in a Manhattan court about the harassment Jordan has wrought. Robert Thurman testimony including reading from emails Jordan wrote.

Dealing with a stalker – either an intimate partner or a stranger who constantly writes and emails, shows up uninvited at work or at home, and sends unwanted gifts or presents— is not just a problem for movie stars. “Unfortunately, stalking is quite common, especially for women in this country,” says Maya Raghu, senior staff attorney for Legal Momentum, a women’s legal advocacy organization in New York. Each year some 1.4 million Americans face incidents of stalking. And, in their lifetime one in 12 women, as well as one in 45 men will be a victim of stalking, according to the Stalking Resource Center of the National Center for Victims of Crime.

Laws against stalking vary state by state, although there are federal laws against stalking contained in the Violence Against Women Act. Thurman lives in New York, where stalking is defined in the state penal code as when as person “intentionally, and for no legitimate purpose, engages in a course of conduct directed at a specific person, and knows or reasonably should know that such conduct is likely to cause reasonable fear of material harm to the physical health, safety or property of such person, a member of such person's immediate family or a third party with whom such person is acquainted.” The law includes harming the emotional or mental health of the victim, or causing a fear that a person’s workplace or career will be threatened.

The first step to combat a stalker is free. Acquiring a temporary civil or criminal order of protection (also known as a restraining order) does not require paying a fee, says Raghu.

To get a temporary criminal order of protection in New York, according to Raghu, a victim first goes to the police and the stalker can then be charged with a crime, like stalking or harassment. Then the order can be filed. (Typically criminal orders of protection are filed against individuals with whom the victim does not have a legal relationship with, such as an ex-boyfriend, or a complete stranger.) A civil order of protection in New York, on the other hand, does not require that the stalker is charged with a crime. (A civil order of protection is often filed in a family court against someone with whom the victim has a legal relationship, such as a former spouse, although they can get criminal orders of protection against those individuals as well.)

Both orders basically specify that the stalker must remain a specific distance from the victim at all times. In some states, a permanent order of protection can last up to five years. A civil order of protection is usually for a shorter period of time, such as six months to a year, but again varies state by state. Some orders can be renewed, although the length of time varies. “Your protection really depends on what state you live in,” says Raghu.

A victim does not need to hire a lawyer when they show up in court for either the temporary criminal or civil order of protection. Still “you might want a lawyer because down the line, there can be a hearing to issue a permanent order of protection,” says Raghu. You can find a lawyer through a Bar Association referral service says Andrew Rush, spokesman for the New York State Bar Association. The New York State referral service, for example, costs $35 for each half hour of consultation. Raghu also suggests contacting the victim services program at a local domestic violence shelter, which often will connect victims to legal services. Some shelters may even provide free legal advice, such as the Safe Horizon shelter in New York City.

Whether you retain a lawyer or not, an emergency fund is important to have. “It can make sense for victims to start putting money aside in a separate account,” said Raghu. “If a person wants to relocate because of a stalker, it can’t hurt [to have an emergency fund.]

Expect to pay $2,000 for potential legal fees or other expenses, says Keith Williams, a Greenville, North Carolina-based attorney specializing in criminal law. Additional expenses might include changing all the locks on a home, especially if a victim once lived with their stalker, says Raghu. Locksmiths' fees for such changes vary, but can begin around $150. Purchasing a self-defense book like Self-Defense for Peaceable People, from Barnes & Nobles (BKS) or Mace pepper spray on a keychain for $13.95 off Amazon.com (AMZN), might be other unexpected expenses.

But more than money, the paper that can protect you the most is that fee-free restraining order. “The most important thing you can do if you think you are being stalked is to make immediate contact with the police and file a complain report,” says private investigator Bo Dietl, who runs a New York based private investigation and security firm. “ If you don’t get a response you want from the police go directly to the district attorney or state attorney.” Your safety is priceless.

Readers who found this post informative may also want to read Don't Be Like Sly: Keep Your Phones Safe and Marine Laurean On the Run.