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Drinks Guys Can Order and Not Feel Like Wusses

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There's a time and a place for everything, and a night out at the local watering hole is no exception. 

If your drinking spot of choice has a floor covered in peanuts and games on the TV, then feel free to swig 2-for-1 Natty Light from a can -- but if you've just waited to get past the velvet rope and rub elbows with a classier crowd, you need a drink to match.

Unfortunately the world of cocktails is a dangerous one, filled with less-than-masculine mixtures that won't win you any style points. So put down that fruit garnish, take the umbrella out of your straw, and sip in style with these drinks that guys shouldn't be afraid to order. 

Rusty Nail

This is a simple, yet classic and still popular, cocktail, typically made with two ounces Scotch and one ounce of the honey-sweet scotch whiskey Drambuie. Usually this one is served on the rocks, and has a slightly warm, biting taste that can be made sweeter or less so by changing the amount of Drambuie added. It's easy, classy, and great in the wintertime -- and you don't even have to get it with the traditional twist of lemon on the glass if you prefer not to.

Black & Tan

Here's the beverage for the beer drinker that wants more variety than a typical American brew. The black & tan has been around as long as beer itself, and exists in countless variations and names. For the traditional recipe, you can't go wrong with a pint consisting of half Bass ale and half Guinness Stout layered on top. Its delicious, its not overly fancy, and it'll satisfy the guy who's not in the mood for liquor.  

Manhattan

When in doubt, you can't go wrong with this old standby that will simply never go out of style. It was a favorite of Frank Sinatra's, and if that's not good enough for you, then maybe you should just stick to apple juice. There are more variations than you can count and the debate still rages about whether rye or Canadian whiskey is the best, but as long as there's whiskey, everybody wins. For the sake of simplicity, stick to the recipe found in the classic drinking tome "The Fine Art of Mixing Drinks:" five parts whiskey, one part vermouth and a dash of bitters shaken over ice and strained into a cocktail glass. Whiskey-to-vermouth ratios change from bartender to bartender, but either way, this strong-yet-simple drink is a true classy man's beverage.

 

Old Fashioned

This fine concoction is one of the undisputed kings of cocktails, and perhaps one of the first cocktails period. Walk around clutching one of these, and people might actually think you've got taste and class. If you're really lucky, they'll forget about your hidden love for Jell-O shots. Muddle a sugar cube and dash of bitters together in a glass, add ice, soda and a couple ounces of bourbon, stir, and find out why true gentlemen have been ordering these since the 1800s. 

Flaming Dr. Pepper
Sometimes you just have to get back in touch with your beer-chugging college side. When the urge hits, you can either be like everyone else on Earth and go for the cliché Jäger bomb, or you can be a little more adventurous and go with this ode to pyromaniacs everywhere. Fill a shot glass ¾ with Amaretto, then layer a high-proof liquor such as 151 rum on top. Light the shot on fire and let it burn for a few seconds. Drop it into a glass of beer and chug -- and if you did things right, you'll swear you're drinking a Dr. Pepper soda. If you did things wrong, you'll probably need a Sharpie to draw your singed eyebrows back on.




Caipirinha 

Don't let the look fool you -- this national drink of Brazil appears to be a mojito, but has a potency and taste to keep a guy happy. And few people on Earth party better than Brazilians, so take their advice and mix one up for yourself. It's made with the increasingly popular Brazilian liquor Cachaca, which like rum is made from sugarcane, giving the drink a sweetness that makes it perfect for summertime sipping. Simply pour cachaca over rocks, add a pinch of sugar to release the flavoring, mix in some limes, and stir. It's manlier than a mojito, and it takes a lot less time to make!

 

Jack & Coke, Gin & Tonic, Etc.:

 

These choices are about as conventional as Bud Light, but they'll always be around -- and that's what makes them an acceptable last resort. You can never feel bad ordering one of the classic liquor and soda concoctions. Just don't dare ask for something where the mixer involves juice or fruit of any sort, or your friends might mistake you for someone who still tries to find Zima in the grocery store. Experimentation is also key here, as the combinations of liquor and carbonated mixers are limitless and, oftentimes, surprisingly delicious.

Posted By anonymous Aug 23 5:09 PM
I'll go with a White Russian

Posted By anonymous Aug 5 12:36 PM
Oban neat. Żubrówka Vodka rocks. Bookers neat. If you need a mixer then Gin Martini very dry. As for beer? Beer is for breakfast.

Posted By anonymous Aug 1 9:37 PM
Try an Irish Fog - 1/3 Bailey's, 1/3 Bushmills, & 1/3 Drambuie. If you're man enough, you'll be able to mix and consume these by the gallon like we do on our Ladies' Poker Nights.

Posted By anonymous Jul 31 12:47 AM
Hell, man up you wussies! High end bourbon mixed with.... wait... wait... here it comes... ICE! A true mans drink Melangell

Posted By Danmo43 Jul 21 3:41 PM
Long Island Iced Tea. If you're gonna drink, DRINK.

Posted By wsxyz Jul 19 3:03 AM
Rusty Nail: 3 Ounces of liquor is too much. Halve the recipe. Black & Tan: Not a cocktail at all. Manhattan: There is no debate about the whiskey. Manhattans have ALWAYS used straight rye whiskey. Canadian whiskey in Manhattans started in Europe because 1) straight rye Whiskey was not available and 2) Canadian whiskey is made from rye. So use straight rye Whiskey in your Manhattans. Furthermore, it needs to be made clear that the vermouth used in Manhattans is not clear, dry Vermouth - but red, sweet Vermouth (Italian Vermouth). Mix two parts straight rye whiskey, one part Italian vermouth, two dashes of Angostura bitters, then STIR VIGOROUSLY on ice instead of shaking. The 5-1 ratio given in the book mentioned in the article was based on the recipe for the dry Martini of that time, but Martinis and Manhattans are not the same cocktail and shouldn't use the same ratio of liquor to vermouth. Old Fashioned: Soda is not necessary, a lemon twist is. Flaming Dr. Pepper: Give me a break. Caipirinha: Wrong, Wrong, Wrong, Wrong, Wrong! Cachaça is not sweet at all, adding sugar to it won't "bring out the flavor", and the drink takes no less time than a Mojito to make. In fact, the Mojito is basically a bastardized Caipirinha. Has the author ever seen or tasted a Caipirinha before in his life? To make a Caipirinha: Have crushed ice on hand, take a small lime and cut it into eighths. Put the pieces in a sturdy whiskey glass. Add sugar to taste (2-3 teaspoons). Muddle the lime pieces with the sugar. Fill the glass with crushed ice, add 1.5 ounces Cachaça and stir briefly. Jack & Coke: What's the difference between mixing with juice and mixing with soda? In both cases you are just masking the taste of liquor with an overly sweet mixer. So what makes fresh squeezed orange juice any more wuss than Coca-Cola? Last word of advice: Avoid vodka cocktails. Vodka is truly for wusses, being nothing more than alcoholic water.

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I'll go with a White Russian

I'll go with a White Russian

Oban neat. Żubrówka Vodka

Oban neat. Żubrówka Vodka rocks. Bookers neat. If you need a mixer then Gin Martini very dry. As for beer? Beer is for breakfast.

Try an Irish Fog - 1/3

Try an Irish Fog - 1/3 Bailey's, 1/3 Bushmills, & 1/3 Drambuie. If you're man enough, you'll be able to mix and consume these by the gallon like we do on our Ladies' Poker Nights.

Hell, man up you wussies!

Hell, man up you wussies! High end bourbon mixed with.... wait... wait... here it comes... ICE! A true mans drink

Melangell

Long Island Iced Tea. If

Long Island Iced Tea.

If you're gonna drink, DRINK.

Rusty Nail: 3 Ounces of

Rusty Nail: 3 Ounces of liquor is too much. Halve the recipe.

Black & Tan: Not a cocktail at all.

Manhattan: There is no debate about the whiskey. Manhattans have ALWAYS used straight rye whiskey. Canadian whiskey in Manhattans started in Europe because 1) straight rye Whiskey was not available and 2) Canadian whiskey is made from rye. So use straight rye Whiskey in your Manhattans. Furthermore, it needs to be made clear that the vermouth used in Manhattans is not clear, dry Vermouth - but red, sweet Vermouth (Italian Vermouth). Mix two parts straight rye whiskey, one part Italian vermouth, two dashes of Angostura bitters, then STIR VIGOROUSLY on ice instead of shaking. The 5-1 ratio given in the book mentioned in the article was based on the recipe for the dry Martini of that time, but Martinis and Manhattans are not the same cocktail and shouldn't use the same ratio of liquor to vermouth.

Old Fashioned: Soda is not necessary, a lemon twist is.

Flaming Dr. Pepper: Give me a break.

Caipirinha: Wrong, Wrong, Wrong, Wrong, Wrong! Cachaça is not sweet at all, adding sugar to it won't "bring out the flavor", and the drink takes no less time than a Mojito to make. In fact, the Mojito is basically a bastardized Caipirinha. Has the author ever seen or tasted a Caipirinha before in his life? To make a Caipirinha: Have crushed ice on hand, take a small lime and cut it into eighths. Put the pieces in a sturdy whiskey glass. Add sugar to taste (2-3 teaspoons). Muddle the lime pieces with the sugar. Fill the glass with crushed ice, add 1.5 ounces Cachaça and stir briefly.

Jack & Coke: What's the difference between mixing with juice and mixing with soda? In both cases you are just masking the taste of liquor with an overly sweet mixer. So what makes fresh squeezed orange juice any more wuss than Coca-Cola?

Last word of advice: Avoid vodka cocktails. Vodka is truly for wusses, being nothing more than alcoholic water.

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