Our Spy On the Upper East Side

Beauty but at What Cost?

The last time I looked in the mirror and screeched, I picked up the phone and called 911 requesting the emergency number for my cosmetic dermatologist-to-the-stars, Dr. Fred Brandt. Squeezing me in between Madonna and those-who-swear-they-do-nothing, I told him I needed a little puffing and buffing. Lickety-split, my Prince of the Pick-Me-Up injected tiny needles all over my face and I hurried out to the reception desk to pay my bill temporarily looking like a domestic abuse victim but one who’d asked to be punched.

But the real punch was the one my wallet took – those itsy bitsy vials of plumper’s and fillers cost $5000 and it was a little late to have them sucked out.

Fast forward to now and this ridiculous recession and dopey dollar -- I just can’t rationalize spending that kind of money on my wrinkles anymore and evidently I’m not the one: Rene Syler, former ABC morning anchor and author of The Good Enough Mother told me, “It was three square meals a day or my Botox. Needless to say me and my wrinkle-free forehead are STARVING! Priorities… all about priorities.”

It’s not the eating part that bothers me since I can subsist on peanut butter, chocolate covered raisins and watermelon; the problem for me is that I hate second best -- it’s just not the same. I don’t want duck lips and mismatched eyebrows so I’d rather grow bangs to cover the frown lines than risk looking lopsided. (Not to be nasty but I was stunned by Katie Couric’s eyebrows a while ago; very Mephistophelean and possibly the result of a bad botox infusion?)